Tame Your Kids' Disruptive ADHD behavior Today at Home or at School

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The ability or tendency to hyperfocus is often a characteristic of ADHD.

Even though kids who have ADHD often have a lot of trouble paying attention at school, many of them can easily focus on something they're passionately interested in.

Although the tendency to hyperfocus in ADHD kids is often considered not good, I disagree. It can mean the difference between success and failure!

Of course, hyperfocusing isn't always positive. You probably don't want your kids hyperfocusing on violent video games, for example.

But helping them find something positive that they absolutely love can be a real boost to an ADHD kid. Maybe it's a sport? Maybe it's one particular subject at school. Or maybe one specific topic in that subject at school?

Could be dinosaurs, Civil War battles or Egyptian hieroglyphics. Maybe it's a craft or hobby? Making jewelry? Building model cars? Cooking?

Obviously ADHD kids still have togo to school, still need to pass subjects they aren't interested in, do things they'd rather not do. But if we encourage them and offer praise for a job well done in their passionate interest, we build self-esteem while they build skills.

When I was a kid and during the first two years of college, I struggled because of ADHD as I've mentioned before. Now the moment of truth. I came close to flunking out of college! Even though I loved college and was certainly smart enough to succeed, I just couldn't concentrate!

My brain didn't work. And there was no help. Nobody knew about ADHD then. Much less did we have the resources we have today.

Then toward the end of my sophomore year at Colorado College, I took a music history class with Dr. Albert Seay. I loved the material. Couldn't wait for this class. Put everything else aside to learn the intricacies of early Renaissance music notation.

Dr. Seay was also the best teacher I'd ever had. I gobbled up every word, every class, all the homework, every bit of reading, all the listening exercises.

In other words, I was hyperfocusing. And now I was getting enough A's in school to counteract the D's. And my Father was no longer getting letters  informing him that his daughter's grades were so bad that she might be asked to leave.

Granted there aren't a lot of jobs for people who love early Renaissance music notation but my immersion in musicology allowed me to graduate in four years with a bachelor's degree.

Then I went on to graduate school in . . . you guessed it, musicology. I took all my classes, got A's, taught music appreciation to freshmen, and loved every minute. Hyperfocus is all but required in graduate school!

Eventually, time came to write my master's thesis. Now nobody bothered to tell me that hyperfocusing on your master's thesis for three years isn't appropriate but I loved the work.

In the end I got mad at my advisor and threw my finished thesis plus all my notes into the fire before the thesis was submitted. Unfortunately, the ability to hyperfocus has no effect on the tendency we ADHDers have to act impulsively--often shooting ourselves in the foot!

Back to the point. Those of us who have ADHD often do extremely well in things we are passionate about. So help your ADHD kids find something they love to do and encourage this activity.

It helps too if your ADHD child has a teacher flexible enough to encourage your child's interest.  Some charter schools have this flexibility over other more highly-structured schools.

By the way, you don't have to like  what your child likes--needless to say, my parents were totally baffled by my passion for musicology and early Renaissance music notation.

Please let us know how you encourage your ADHD kid. Just leave a comment below.

Do you want good grades higher test scores, better behavior, family harmony for your child? Want to help your ADHD kids but don't know how?

Get answers with a Complimentary "ADHD Transformation" call with me, Dr. MaryJoWagner. Apply Now!

I've heard teachers say, "All the kids in my class have ADHD." Of course, that's not true but I'm sure it must seem like it.

And how many times have you said "Oh, I was just so ADHD today"? Or maybe you've said, "If my kids would just stop running around like they have ADHD"?

ADHD is a common term. Some of us, especially those with kids who aren't working up to their potential, use the term "ADHD" or "ADD" all the time.

Usually we mean that our kid is being hyperactive and can't pay attention. Or our child is dreamy and never seems to know what's going on.

In addition to how often we use the terms, it also seems like every expert (and lots of non-experts) has their pet theory of what causes ADHD.

A few of these theories that have been blamed for "causing" ADHD include

• Poor diet and too much junk food
• Allergies to artificial coloring (and flavoring)
• Bad parents
• Traumatic Brain Injury
• Vaccinations
• Too much TV
• Too many video games
• School is boring
• School is too hard
• Learning disabilities
• Right-brain kid in a left-brain world
• Lead poisoning

None of the above "cause" ADHD but they can cause behavior that looks like ADHD. And many of these factors when corrected will help with both ADHD and ADHD-like behavior.

ADHD and Diet

Sometimes it's hard to sort out. For example, children with what researchers thought was ADHD have been put on the Feingold Diet.

The Feingold diet promoters suggest that poor diet causes ADHD and a better diet will "cure" it. This somewhat complicated elimination diet does help lots of kids. In some children, it eliminates ADHD symptoms totally. In other kids curb the symptoms a lot. But that doesn't mean that bad diet caused ADHD.

All we can really say is that a poor diet can cause ADHD-like symptoms, And that a nutritious diet often goes a long way in helping with both ADHD-like symptoms and ADHD itself.

If, however, a child's ADHD-like symptoms go away entirely after eating more nutritious food, they didn't have ADHD in the first place. They had behavior caused by their brain getting too few nutrients and that looked like ADHD.

ADHD Drugs for ADHD-like Behvior?

The distinction between ADHD and ADHD-like symptoms is important since stimulant drugs are not appropriate for ADHD-like symptoms. These drugs may, however, be appropriate for ADHD.

It's always important to rule out factors that can cause ADHD-like behavior before putting kids on ADHD meds.

Unless these factors are ruled out, we put our kids at risk of taking powerful drugs for a condition they don't have. For a list of 12 of these factors that can cause ADHD-like behavior, you can get immediate access to the checklist "Maybe They Don't Have ADHD After All" at by signing up over in the right-hand side bar toward the top of the page.

On the other hand, most non-drug alternatives will help with both ADHD-like symptoms and ADHD so the actual diagnosis doesn't make that much difference.

Non-drug strategies, programs and activities can help kids pay attention and focus. Can help them to be less hyperactive or less dreamy. Can help them from being so impulsive.

Now these children can reach their potential in school without that pesky ADHD behavior getting in the way.

Be sure to leave us a comment? What experience have you had with ADHD at your house?

Ryan and his dad had another argument tonight about math homework.

Dad's yelling at Ryan. Ryan's crying. And Mom's telling Dad to stop yelling at Ryan while trying to get Ryan to stop crying.

Ryan was pretty sure he had homework, but he wasn't sure what it was.

Ryan feels terrible. Not only has he made a mess again with his math homework but his parents are fighting. And it's all his fault.

This year Ryan is getting up out of his seat whenever he feels like it and disrupting other kids. So he's getting in trouble at home for that too.

Sometimes Ryan's Mom emails the teacher and gets Ryan's homework. But she can't do that everyday. And Ryan needs to be more responsible.

At Back-to-School night, Ryan's teacher suggests testing him for ADHD. She thinks maybe he needs to be on ADHD medication.

Dad, annoyed by the whole thing, starts asking more questions. He wants to know exactly what Ryan is doing and what Ryan isn't doing. Need to solve this homework problem and this behavior problem right now before this business with Ryan gets out of hand.

Then the clue! Ryan's teacher says, "You know, at the beginning of the year, Ryan did his math homework every single night. Then all of a sudden he stopped doing it."

Ryan's Dad remembers this and comments that he often looked at the math pages that Ryan brought home. And Ryan really liked doing his math homework. Says that Ryan hasn't brought math sheets home for ages. Now he brings a math book home but doesn't know what page the homework is on.

Ryan's Dad and the teacher both agree that math is Ryan's best subject. Ryan loves math. He's had an A on every math test. But his overall grade isn't very good because of this homework problem.

Turns out that when the new math books finally arrived, Ryan's teacher started writing the homework on the board. She didn't need to give the kids homework sheets since the problems were in the book.

Congratulations! By now, you've guessed what Ryan's problem was.

Ryan couldn't see what the teacher had written on the board. So he'd get up out of his seat to get closer to the board and the teacher would tell him to sit down. And then he'd get into more trouble.

Ryan didn't need an ADHD test. He needed an eye exam. Now he's wearing glasses. He can see the board. And he's doing his math homework.

He might have needed glasses last year but the problem didn't show up because he sat in the front of the room close to the board.

Because we all use the term "ADHD" so often to describe not only our kids but ourselves, it's often the first thing a teacher or parent thinks of when a child isn't doing well in school. Or, in Ryan's case, isn't doing his homework.

It's easy to miss the obvious. But stop before you jump to an ADHD conclusion.

Even when your child's teacher suggests ADHD, get your child's eyes tested by an optometrist or an ophthalmologist. Teachers aren't trained to diagnose ADHD, and busy pediatricians often skip over eye exams.

Luckily Ryan's teacher and his parents figured this out before suggesting to a pediatrician that Ryan might have ADHD and should be on ADHD medication.

Sadly, all too often, well-meaning pediatricians who often have just 15 minutes per patient will write a prescription for ADHD medications. No complete physical. No eye exam. No referral to a child psychologist or psychiatrist.

If your child doesn't have ADHD symptoms at home and only one thing is out of whack at school—like not doing homework—your child does not have ADHD. To find out what else is often labeled ADHD but isn't, pick up your free copy of "Maybe It Isn't ADHD After All: 12 Common Conditions that Can Cause ADHD-like Behavior."  Just put your name and email in the box in the top right column on this page.

Please leave a comment.  What have you done to figure out exactly what's going on with your child at school?

At least 63 common conditions can cause behavior that looks like ADHD. In other words, you or your child's teacher might think that your child has ADHD when in fact they have something else.

It’s easy to make the wrong diagnosis and well-meaning parents, teachers, even pediatricians are doing it everyday.

Misdiagnosing ADHD remains a serious problem because the wrong diagnosis often means a prescription for powerful stimulant drugs that your child doesn’t need.

If your child is taking a drug she doesn't need because of the wrong diagnosis, she could have side-effects, sometimes serious, to these drugs.

As a parent, when your child’s teacher says "I think Angela has ADHD," ask the teacher to describe Angela's specific behavior. Ask if Angela acts this way in other classes. Did she act this way in class last year.

Always keep in mind that teachers are not medical doctors or trained in psychology, much less psychiatry. They do not qualified to diagnosis ADHD, anymore than they are qualified to diagnose pneumonia, cancer, or brain tumors. That is not their job.

If the teacher says that he doesn't think Angela has problems in other classes and didn’t have a problem last year, then you know it’s aschool problem or a learning problem. It's not ADHD.

If the teacher says "Yes, Angela acts like this in all her classes and her behavior was similar last year," then it’s time to take Angela to her pediatrician. However, it's NOT time to tell the pediatrician that you and Angela's teacher think she has ADHD.

Seven Strategies to Help Your Child's Pediatrician Make the Right Diagnosis:

1. Describe the symptoms such as “His teacher says he can't sit still at school.” "She just never pays attention to anything. Seems so spacey." Never start by saying "I think he has ADHD and so does his teacher. Talk about behavior rather than using the terms ADHD, ADD, or attention-deficit disorder.

2. Never suggest that your child needs drugs for ADHD. Many well-meaning, busy pediatricians will write a prescription for powerful stimulant meds for your child just because you ask without doing a physical exam.

3. Ask for a complete physical including a blood test for lead poisoning, low levels of vitamin D, anemia—three conditions that can cause behavior that looks like ADHD.

4. Ask if any of the drugs your child is now taking can cause symptoms that look like ADHD--hyperactivity, spacey-ness, inattentiveness, or impulsivity. For example, some asthma and allergy meds can cause ADHD-like symptoms.

5. If you still think your child might have ADHD, ask for a referral to a child psychiatrist for a brain scan, such as a qEEG. Unfortunately insurance doesn’t usually pay for brain scans and they can be a bit expensive.

Even if a brain scan isn't available, ask for a referral to a child psychiatrist anyway. Pediatricians are not trained in neurological conditions, psychiatric drugs or ADHD. You want the best care you can get for your child.

6. If you and the child psychiatrist agree that your child has ADHD and you want to try medication, get a referral for a complete cardiovascular workup and an ekg or ecg. (Electrocardiogram) In rare cases, heart problems have occurred with children taking stimulant medications.

Bottom line: If you decide to try ADHD medication for you child, make sure it is prescribed by a psychiatrist and that your child is monitored by the psychiatrist. Pediatricians do not receive the specialized training in these drugs that psychiatrists get.

7. Remember that many highly effective non-drug alternatives, such as Smart Brain Games™ are out there for ADHD. Ask about these programs. Stimulant drugs aren't the only solution to ADHD and often not the best solution.

However, if you do decide to put your child on ADHD medication, many of the non-drug resources for ADHD can and should be used in conjunction with the meds. It's not unusual for a child to be able to stop taking meds or take a lower dose after using some of the alternative strategies consistently.

ADHD is real and can certainly create havoc for kids, their parents, and teachers. But ADHD is also wildly over-diagnosed. Make sure your child gets an accurate diagnosis. You can pick up a copy of "63 Common Conditions that Can Cause ADHD-like Symptoms" to look over before you go the doctor. Or even take it with you.

Be sure to leave me a comment?  Let readers know your experiences with diagnosing ADHD.

Caitlin’s teacher called. Caitlin was acting up in class, wasn’t paying attention and often didn’t bother finishing her work. Sometimes she just "zoned out."

Caitlin’s teacher was concerned.

She knew that Caitlin was one of the brightest kids in her class. Knew Caitlin could do excellent work. Could get straight As.

Then the teacher suggested to Caitlin’s Mom that she thought Caitlin had ADHD.

That Caitlin should be tested. Perhaps put on a drug for the disorder. Caitlin’s Mom was stunned. How could she have missed this?

So what should Caitlin’s parents do? Agree with the teacher? Tell the pediatrician that the teacher said their daughter has ADHD? Ask for a prescription?

If Caitlin’s parents do a bit of homework—even a quick internet search—they’d soon discover that ADHD isn’t something a child (or an adult) has just at school or just at home or just when they go to Grandma’s house.

Children with ADHD have this behavior in at least two different environments and often in almost every situation--except for playing video games and doing things they're passionately interested in.

In Caitlin’s example, school was the only place she exhibited ADHD behavior, and she didn’t show any of these tendencies in school last year. So Caitlin’s folks can rule out ADHD.

But what’s going on instead? Why is Caitlin acting up at school?

Turns out Caitlin isbored at school with work that’s too easy for her. Last year her teacher understood this and gave Caitlin some interesting projects to work on.

Caitlin’s parents solved the problem by choosing to home school her and their other children. But what if that’s not an option in your family? You don’t want to do homeschooling. What can you do?

1. Discuss the situation with Caitlin. Show her that you understand what’s going on. That you know the work isn’t challenging. Avoid saying negative things about the teacher. Ask Caitlin to help think of a solution. Let her know that being disruptive in class because she’s bored isn’t o.k. with you.

 

2. Talk to Caitlin's teacher. Explain what you think is going on. Ask for the teacher’s help. Does she have any suggestions? Show a willingness to work together.

 

3. If talking to the teacher and figuring out how to make the work more challenging for Caitlin doesn’t work, talk to the school principal. Perhaps Caitlin could be transferred to another class.  Find out what options are available.

 

4. If the problem persists, look into choosing another school for Caitlin. Perhaps a good charter school with a more challenging curriculum.

Always investigate the situation completely when a teacher suggests that your child might have ADHD.

Teachers, no matter how dedicated, aren’t trained to recognize or diagnose ADHD. Their job is to let you know behaviorally what’s going on with your kids, not what disorder might be causing that behavior.

Once you have this information, you can relate it to your child’s pediatrician without suggesting that the teacher said it was ADHD.

And for more guidelines on what to say to your child’s pediatrician plus a checklist of factors that can look like ADHD, get your free copy of “Maybe It Isn’t ADHD After All."  Sign up on the form in the right-side bar at the top of this page.

Leave a comment. What solutions have you discovered to help kids when they're bored?  Or when school is too easy?

Oprah Winfrey just gave $1 million to the Denver School of Science & Technology, a high performing charter school. I live in Denver. Of course, I’m thrilled.

But charter schools have become a political football. Many conservatives like them a lot and some liberals, including teachers’ unions, on the other hand, often don’t like them.

But some liberals who don’t like charters are annoyed at other liberals like Oprah and Barack Obama who do like charters.

Read the "Wall Street Journal," you’ll find charter school success stories. Read the "New York Times" and you’re more likely to read charter school failure stories.

Everybody's right. Some charter schools, Oprah’s choice in Denver and the new charter schools in New Orleans, for example, are excellent schools.

Other charter schools have proven no better and sometimes worse, much worse than their traditional neighborhood public schools.

And sometimes a great charter school is a lousy choice for your child. An open, loosely structured school environment won't work forADHD kids, for example. 

A child who's passionate about the arts and has talent won't be happy at a school that emphasizes science and technology even though that's what you think your child needs.

So how do parents choose the right school for their kids?

1. Are you willing to be involved in school decisions, operations, even hiring and firing? Most charter schools require a substantial time commitment from parents—not just sending cupcakes for the bake sale. If you aren’t willing to be involved or don’t have the time, sending your child to a charter school is probably out of the question.
2. Do your homework. What are the test scores from this school? How do they rank with other schools in your area? If it’s a high school, how many kids go on to college? (School statistics from test scores to teacher-student ratios to demographics, for all but a few of the smallest private schools, are easily available on the Internet.)
3. Visit the school with your child. Is someone available to show you around? Is the school clean, un-crowded, cheerful, and relatively quiet and calm. Are you and your child treated with respect?
4. Find out exactly what’s expected of you as a parent. How much time will be involved?
5. What’s the turn-over rate? Do lots of kids transfer out after a year? Unless you’re close to a military base, a high transfer-out rate isn’t a good sign.
6. Talk to other parents.
7. How many children in a class? What about the number of and accessibility to computers. If you don’t have a computer at home, the computer question is very important.
8. Many charter schools have very low operating budgets, don’t have a “real” school building, few outside activities for kids, and no frills. Is this important to you? To your child? If you child is involved in community sports programs and other outside activities, it probably won’t matter that the school doesn’t provide these activities.
9. If the school emphasizes a specific curriciulum, such as science and technology, is this a good fit for your child? If it emphasizes a particular kind of discipline or classroom structure, are you in agreement with this. Will it work for your child? Is this school structured enough for an ADHD kid?

If you choose a popular charter school, admittance may be by lottery. So be sure to have a second choice—another school you’ve where you’ve also done your homework.

Always keep in mind that the quality of the school is far more important than whether it’s a charter school, a private school, a faith-based school, or a traditional neighborhood public school. Make your decision based on the excellence of the school and your child’s needs, not your politics.

Jerrod’s pediatrician took him off stimulant drugs for ADHD—and all the other medications he was on.

Jerrod had been excessively hyperactive and impulsive, unable to focus on even the simplest schoolwork.

The drugs helped hyperactivity but Jerrod still didn’t pay much attention to school. His grades were still lousy.

Some days the combination of drugs made Jerrod sleepy and spaced out. At least he wasn’t getting into trouble every day.

Now Jerrod’s a happy 9-year-old, doing much better in school than last year, and rarely gets into trouble. What happened?

When Jerrod was given Ritalin for ADHD, his Mom, Estella, was in an abusive relationship. She had an on-again, off-again minimum-wage job. At her wit’s end, exhausted and unhappy, Estella was unable to pay much attention to her kids, except for daily, relentless yelling and screaming. When she wasn’t yelling at her kids, her boyfriend was.

Jerood’s teacher, sensing that Jerrod was living in a stress-filled home, alerted the school’s social worker who called Estella. At the meeting, the school social worker, Catherine, talked about how poorly Jerrod was doing in school and asked Estella to help him.

Estella wasn’t sure how to help and admitted being worried about the side effects of all the drugs Jerrod was on. Catherine suggested she get some help and gave her information about available community services. Estella followed through

She took a parenting class, learned not to yell at her kids, and got the self-confidence to leave the abusive relationship. From there, she was able to get into a part-time job-training program for a higher-paying job.

Things aren’t perfect for Estella, Jerrod and the other kids in the family but enough better that Jerrod no long has “ADHD.”

Obviously Jerrod didn’t have ADHD in the first place even though he’d been on Ritalin since he was six. His behavior was caused by his stressful home environment.

Before kids get prescriptions for stimulant medication, look at what’s going on at home. A divorce? Unemployment? Mom or Dad seriously ill? Death in the family? Mom and Dad constantly arguing and yelling at each other?

Even less obvious situations at home are stressful enough to cause some kids to act as though they have ADHD: chaos, everybody in the family involved in too many activities, confusion, always being late, never having tasks done on time, unconscious lack of consistent attention to kids.

Stress doesn’t cause ADHD although it can make it worse. But stress often causes ADHD-like behavior and without thorough evaluations by pediatricians, psychologists, and psychiatrists, kids are often prescribed medication for disorders they don’t have.

In addition to stress, other common conditions can also cause behavior that looks like ADHD and lead to prescriptions for medication kids don’t need.

Find out about 12 other factors that can cause hyperactive, impulsive, and inattentive behavior by getting your free copy of “Maybe It Isn’t ADHD After All.” Just go to http://www.smartkidssmartparents.com/

Leave a comment? Have you ever discovered that what you thought was ADHD turned out to be something else?

Some kids have ADHD. Some kids act like they have ADHD but they don’t really have it. What’s going on? Could be that these kids simply aren’t getting enough sleep!

Lack of sleep is so common and so serious now that teachers report kids in their classes falling asleep at school!  How can your child learn math if they just fell asleep while the teacher was explaining how to do long division?

Motivation, alertness, and memory are three of the most important factors that help kids learn, get good grades and high test scores. If your child is sleepy at school, their motivation, alertness and memory are pretty low.  Lack of sleep from pre-school through college is at epidemic levels.

Researchers are reporting that the average child is getting at least one hour less sleep than five years ago. And even one hour less can affect motivation, alertness, and memory.

You know this for yourself? How do you feel at work when you didn’t get a good night’s sleep? It’s the same with kids.

In general a child from 1-3 years old need up to 14 hours a sleep; 3-6 years old, 10-12 hours; 7-12 years old, 10-11 hours; and 12-18 years old, 8-9 hours.

Follow these seven suggestions and you’ll have your kids back on track with sleep:

1.      Keep TV’s out of bedrooms. Even if your child falls asleep in the middle of a program, just having the TV on affects the quality of sleep.

2.      Turn off cell phones and any other gadgets that connect your kids to other kids are turned off and put somewhere other than the bedroom when it’s time for bed.

3.      Stop the running around, rough housing, screaming, yelling, fast-paced TV shows, or anything that’s active or exciting before bed.

4.      Read a quiet story aloud to little kids. Not only is it calming, research has shown that helps prepare kids for learning to read.

5.      Avoid heavy meals, lots of snacks, and candy before bed. Schedule dinner at least a couple hours before bedtime.

6.      Establish strict boundaries for your children about when to go to bed and stick to it. You’re the parent. You get to make these decisions!

7.      Try this Smart Brain Game™ right before bed. While your child is lying in bed, have them cross their legs at their ankles, then cross their arms at their chest while placing their hands on their shoulders. Just like giving themselves a hug.

Now have them take several very deep breaths. You can lie on their bed and do this with them. Ask them to see if they can match your long, slow deep breathing.

Once your kids start getting more sleep, you may be happily surprised that those symptoms you thought were ADHD have disappeared.

Let us know how you manage bedtime and your kids getting enough sleep. We love to get your comments.