Smart Learning Newsletter
Helping You Help
Your ADHD and ADHD-like Kids
Reach Their Smart Potential
Dr. MaryJo Wagner, Editor and Publisher
Vol 1. No. 12 September 18, 2010
Contents
- Note from Dr. MaryJo: Practicing What I Preach--even when it's embarrassing and makes me look like a flake!
- What's Happening at Smart Kids Smart Parents in September
- Feature Article: What To Do about Overwhelm?
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Note from Dr. MaryJo
Practicing What I Preach--even when it's embarrassing and makes me look like a flake!
Hi:
By now, dear readers, you're well aware that I've been blessed with this thing they call ADHD. And oh, what a gift--I'm creative, have lots of brilliant ideas, am optimistic, funny, and pretty sharp. Most ADHD kids and adults fit that description.
But thanks to an overload of brilliant ideas which is often accompanied by a complete lack of understanding of days, weeks and calendars, I sometimes go into overwhelm. I'm not alone. Many ADHD kids and adults do the same thing.
So here's the story. Now I have a lot of stuff I'm doing to help you help your kids tame ADHD and ADHD-like behvior: Tuesday TeleTips, articles, my blog, a video series (that's launching in the next few days), this newsletter, finishing up some projects, and on and on.
But hey, why not add a radio show to the mix? And gee whiz, while I'm at it, how about a week-long TeleWebcast series with individual Action Guides?
Oh, no, I'm in overwhelm! First panic. Then the calm as I realized I had a solution--even if the solution might make some folks think I'm a flake.
I canceled! That's right. I just said "no!" No way can I add a radio show and a new 5-night TeleWebcast to my already packed schedule.
The solution I came up with is one you can do for yourself, one you can help your kids do. When it's too much, when overwhelm strikes, say "no."
In today's article, you'll find some practical suggestions for helping your kids stay out of overwhelm--even kids who don't have ADHD. Given the hectic schedules of most families, it's easy to go into overwhelm.
By the way, I might not have over-scheduled myself if I'd told my husband Eric what I was planning. He's good at saying not-so subtle things like "Surely you're kidding? Are you nuts? Get a grip."
So if you have the tendency to over-commit and then panic, find someone to rein you in! Set this good example for your kids.
Enjoy!
P. S. Be sure to read about this week's special Tuesday TeleTips where I'll be interviewing Denise Hornbeak, the author of "The SupeConfitelligent Child." Sign up now.
What's Happening at Smart Kids Smart Parents
Tuesday TeleTips: Always Complimentary. Always recorded. Usually every other week. Usually an Action Guide. But you do need to sign up
Sept. 21: Special Show, Special Guest, Special Book. Interview with Denise Hornbeak, author of "The SuperConfitelligent Child: Loving to Learn through Movement & Play."
Discover Primary Learning Tools (PLTs) to fill in your kids' developmental gaps. Plus Denise is offering a 25 percent discount on her book. Don't miss out!
Sept. 28: ADHD: Three Smart Brain Games™ that Always Work
Oct. 12: ADHD and Food
Oct. 26: ADHD and TV
If there's something you'd like know, let me know and I'll get it into the November Tuesday TeleTips.
"The Smart Moms Radio Show" CANCELLED: To find out why, read my note above: "Practicing What I Preach" and this week's feature article below: "What To Do about Overwhelm."
"The Smart Moms Show" every Thursday, 2 pm Eastern on Your Radio
What To Do about Overwhelm
Note: This was scheduled for our first of three articles on Situational and Organic ADHD. We'll get to that next week. Given my own overwhelm this week, couldn't resist giving you some suggestions about dealing with overwhelm.
When I was a little girl, my Mother had never heard of ADHD but she certainly recognized it when she saw it.
And she acted immediately with one or both of her tried and true remedies:
1. Kept me home from school for a day.
2. Insisted that I drop one of my activities. Usually I got to choose which one. If I wavered, whined or pouted, she simply made a decision and chose the activity she thought the most appropriate to drop.
And in order to keep herself from overwhelm, I was rarely allowed to get involved in an activity that required chauffeuring unless it was at night. If I couldn't walk or take the bus, I didn't do it.
Now she wasn't overly strict." She sometimes picked me up after my piano lesson. Sometimes drove me to school. And if she knew I was really tired, getting over a cold or my ankle hurt, she'd take me or pick me up. But it wasn't on automatic pilot.
And I was proud of myself for being independent, being able to take care of myself and knowing how to get around on my own.
Kids are much busier than when I was a kid. And I know from talking to parents with ADHD kids that being overwhelmed (which can easily turn into hysterics) is all too often a way of life. So it's time to get off the gerbil wheel and calm down.
Now it's possible that you don't live somewhere that it's easy for kids to take a bus. Maybe your neighborhood or the buses aren't safe. But you can still seriously think about the logistics and timing of the activities your kids want to be involved in.
Follow these suggestions and you'll be on your way to keeping ADHD overwhelm at bay--theirs and yours: (You don't have to have ADHD kids to follow these suggestions.)
1. At the first sign of overwhelm, it's your job as a parent to intervene. Choices include naps, quiet time in their room (not as a punishment), turning off the TV, staying home from school, skipping some of this week's activities.
2. Set a limit, at the beginning of the school year, to the number of outside activities your child can be involved in. Much easier to set limits before your child is involved in something than to remove them from something later.
3. Remember that you are the parent. Your child's mental and physical health are in your hands. You get to say "No." Your children depend on you to take care of them--even when they pout and whine and stomp their feet and get mad.
And you're teaching them how to take care of overwhelm when they're adults. Organic ADHD doesn't go away and overwhelm as a symptom--if not a lifestyle--is apt to remain.
4. Look carefully at the amount of sleep your child is getting, the quality of the food they're eating, and how often they can't finish their homework because they're too busy, too tired, or just plain too overwhelmed. (Too little sleep and too much junk food contributes a lot to overwhelm.)
5. Make sure that you aren't overwhelmed with everything your children have on their plates. If you're overwhelmed, your mood, tone of voice and sheer exhaustion will impact your kids.
Again, you're the Mom and it's your duty to say "No." It's also your duty to take care of yourself--if you don't, you can't take care of your kids!
Keep your kids and yourself sane. Watch for overwhelm and learn to nip it in the bud--whether you kids have ADHD or they don't have ADHD.
I've identified at least "63 Common Conditions that Can Cause ADHD-like Behavior" (aka Situational ADHD) to help you figure out what's going on with your child. Get your copy now
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"ADHD or Not Awareness Week" CANCELLED: To find out why, read my note above: "Practicing What I Preach" and read this week's Feature Article: "What To Do about Overwhelm."
In the meantime, I invite you to come to "ADHD or Not Awareness Week" that includes 5-TeleWebcasts from Sept. 20-Sept. 24. That's right--it's a TeleWebcast every evening during my "ADHD or Not Awareness Week."
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Watch for next week's "Smart Learning Newsletter: "Situational ADHD: What to do When It's Not Really ADHD"
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